The Movement is the dance ministry I was apart of within DURAG Ministries on JMU's campus. DURAG is an acronym for Divine Unity Righteously Apply God. I love love this particular dance because its so honest and true. I'm in the skirt. :) If you want to know more about DURAG check them out at http://www.duragministries.org/, check their channel on YouTube at DURAGJMU, or like them on facebook! The song is "All I have to Give" by Mali Music (he's great check him out too!)



It takes a while to start so you can just click to start watching at about 2:18

Wow...Before it was like a cycle with him
He'd be here one minute then gone the next
I never knew what to expect...well...I didn't want to expect it
But this time...it's been different.
He's been sharing his heart and I'm learning to trust him
And...now my concern isn't for his actions
...It’s for hers
She's feeling him and
I'm not sure how to handle this
But I guess I'll be remiss if I ignore it
Like she doesn't exist
"She" ...now I'm talking to you
I went to the Lord for you
I let Him know how my heart hurt at
How you seemed to be confused and without a clue
Of the danger recklessly approaching you
...And then He reminded me
Just of how I used to be...
Now listen closely cuz this is what He told me...
Don’t awaken love until its good and ready …wait until it’s supposed to be
Cuz you'll end up bruised emotionally
And spiritually you're supposed to be pursuing God wholeheartedly
Not looking over your shoulder like, "Is this him? Is he coming after me?"
*sigh* Trust me...this is not a territorial battle
But I been in these trenches before
And please take heed to the Lord before you continue to open the door to your heart..
Please guard it …it’s like a garden
Beautiful and inviting but be aware of who or what your invite in
And make sure its set on the right things...
Things eternal and not solely on the yearns of this world
Cuz girl...they'll catch you
Chew you up, swallow, and then reject you
Leaving you reeking of bitterness and anger
When the whole time you could have been pleasingly fragrant and remained pure
In His love...the only one that's worth any pain
The only one we're all seeking to gain
Nothing else compares...so there
I said it, I got it off my chest…
I'll leave you with some encouragement and I'll let God handle the rest
Seek first His kingdom and all other things will be added
Hang that banner of love around your neck and don't take it for granted
Know that you're in my prayers and I don't take this lightly
Focus on your walk with Christ
And don't worry about whom that "he" might be...

                                                                                                                               
Song of Solomon 2:7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Colossians 3:2 Set your mind on the things above, not on the things of earth & Deuteronomy 6:5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

2 Corinthians 2:15-16 For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life. And who is equal to such a task?

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Song of Solomon 2:4 He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love

♥

This song is currently in HEAVY rotation. It's on my playlist and I find it very encouraging.
 These are the lyrics

You look around, staring back at you
Another wave of doubt, will it pull you under? You wonder
What if I'm overtaken? What if I never make it?
What if no one's there? Will You hear my prayer?

When you take that first step into the unknown
You know that He won't let you go

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities, they try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water, too

So get out, and let your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste, don't wait, and don't you turn around and miss out
Everything you were made for, I know you're not sure
So you play it safe, you try to run away

If you take that first step into the unknown
He won't let you go

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities, they try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water, too

Step out, even when it's storming
Step out, even when you're broken
Step out, even when your heart is telling you
Telling you to give up
Step out, when your hope is stolen
Step out, you can't see where you're going
You don't have to be afraid
So what are you waiting, what are you waiting for?

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities try to hold to you
You know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water
Walk on the water, too

♥

Huntsville, Alabama was amazing. In the car with my Aunt and Uncle I got to think, pray, and reflect on all that happened. I was excited to have the opportunity to get away to a new setting and for all the experiences I know I was being prepared to have. Once I was there, my excitement only increased.




Huntsville is such a flat city. Not a lot of tall buildings or trees. I didn't mind because from the car I was able to see the beauty of the sky. So much beauty. In most of the car rides my eyes searched the clouds during the day and admired the stars at night.









8-20-2010



Here, finally. I've had so much to think about and reflect on. A great deal has happened and I was asked "was it worth it?" God I want to say yes. For the opportunity to come to know you on a deeper, more intimate level it was absolutely worth it. It got to a point where I was on the verge of breaking in frustration because it felt like you weren't there. Looking back, I recall the question you asked me while I was still at camp. I was praying “God take me deeper, I want more of you,” then you asked me are you sure? Asking for more of you means that you could take me to levels I've never imagined and reveal so much to me and about me that I’ve never known. Are you really ready? I guess all of what happened was the challenge to see where my faith lies. Have I surrendered it all to you or am I still trying to do it all myself? I can say I am ready and I thank you for the lessons you have coming. I'm excited knowing that you are sovereign and I'm resting in your unexplainable peace. God I love you and I want so much more. I can feel you here with me and I'm ready to see your will be done. Each step I know you laid out and I pray that you keep my way right that I don't fall and my ankles do not turn.
~~

Immediately my days were busy. I was job searching, seeing the city, and getting to know my extended relatives. My cousins are much older than me and we never really had much conversation but in my time there I got to sit and really talk life with both of them, along with my aunt and uncle. The end of August through to September was full of lessons of apartment shopping, budgeting money, and career building. I met with people about my career choices, celebrated my 22nd birthday, salsa danced, saw the cotton fields, and went to an Alabama A&M football game. I enjoyed late night talks, movies and lots of laughter :O)



9-2-2010



Yesterday was my birthday! I am now 22 years old and I have so much to be grateful for. Being here in Alabama I am learning so much. You are setting things in motion and making your will clear day by day. God I trust you and I love you so much! I'm excited because of the favor you have shown. I was able to have an awesome meeting with a woman in the PR field. She dropped some knowledge lol and even some contacts. Thanks for setting that up! Also my cousin was kind enough to set up another meeting concerning my career with another woman in the field. You are awesome! I trust you no matter where these doors lead and I know you have my best interest in mind.


~~


In Huntsville I also had a lot of down time. In that time I prayed. I prayed for my family and for my future. I was excited about what was happening. My new excitement was soon met with the return of some old and enervating feelings that were all too familiar...to be continued...

“And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace." Acts 20: 22-24

This morning I read this chapter and was immediately comforted by this scripture. In this new stage/chapter/season (whatever you want to call it) I have had so many emotions. In some moments, I feel anxious about what's happening and what's going to happen. The infamous questions of "so what are you going to do now?" (yes I'm still getting that one) or "what's next?" and my attempts to explain my "plans" all tend to weigh heavy on me. I'm here and there with my ideas all the while thinking...ugh I don't know and I'm OK with that. At night I think about all the things that seem to be so important. Things I think I need to take care of or consider...securing a full time job, paying back these loans, car? apartment? *shrug* Its so much... I was asked today in one of my attempts to explain the position I'm in, "what are you passionate about?" Can I tell you? I thought. Will really you understand that the cares of this world me nothing to me in comparison to knowing God and living/serving/dying for Him? You want to know what I want to do? I want to Glorify God with my whole life. I desire to see people come to know Him. I want to help build up the kingdom. I want to "finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me." Even if it means me not having what I think I need. To many people it may sound crazy but this is the one accomplishment I know that I will find true satisfaction in. It is where I want to place my energy, it's my true motivation. God I trust you. I'm just ready to get busy for you and with you.

"One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple." Psalm 27:4

This is the Post Graduate Series. I have decided to try something new for a while. It is now November and we are about to celebrate Thanksgiving. I graduated six months ago and so much has happened. I have so much to be grateful for. I have seen God working and moving in my life and in the lives of my family members and friends. There is so much I want to share. I want to update you and keep you updated. I will share some journal entries and the lessons I have learned. *disclaimer: there are pieces of this story I have chosen not to reveal, at least not yet* I will still post some of my random thoughts and conversations but this series will be one that continues throughout. Think of it as me documenting this stage of my life. That's how I see it.




So I'll start in August...



I came home (Richmond) August 15 2010 from another GREAT summer at Summer's Best Two Weeks CitiKidz. In that month (July 8- Aug 15) God definitely pruned me and taught me so much about his love, patience, and trusting Him. I was able to learn at camp and in the days immediately following what it meant to allow God to Satisfy Himself at my expense. Before and off and on during camp I arranged with my mom and dad a trip to visit my aunt and her family in Huntsville, Alabama. There, I would spend time with them, job search a bit, and maybe do some networking.



8-12-2010 Journal Entry

Well its Thursday of the last week of camp. What have I learned? I guess I realized that I'm soaking in more than I thought. Before camp I felt dry and complacent. However, after seeing how God has used me I realize that He's been working all along. In speaking about Him, connections are made that I never knew were there before. Ministering to these girls has shed light on both my weaknesses and my strengths. There were great weeks and then there were times were I encountered great resistance. In different ways the girls acted out and God revealed to me how similar our behavior can often be towards Him. That realization definitely opened my eyes and allowed me to gain a better understanding of the level of compassion and grace God has and gives to us daily.

My assertiveness (something I once viewed as a negative aspect) has become somewhat of a tool in this walk and during this experience more than I thought. God identified for me ways to use it; the appropriate time and the intensity. I was able to speak to the young girls in love and encouragement but also firmly when necessary. I can now see its value growing in me. I also learned the importance of waiting and loving God->not wishing my time away but lingering in it with Him; eager to hear and understand what I need to learn. I have no idea what to expect when I get back home but I know I'm ready for your will to be done in my life. It's the same enemy at home and the same God that has been here with me these five weeks. I’m taking the discipline, zeal, accountability and purpose home too.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

The same warfare...Continue to pray that He moves and it's not by my own strength but His.



The day after my arrival home there was a disagreement with my parents regarding my future...my life plans both immediate and future



8-15-10

Had a feeling it would be this way. I was asking myself how will I explain what I've learned to them and what I expect. God, I hate it here so much sometimes. I am trying, God, to be patient but I have no idea what's going on. She says that what I am saying when I'm trying to talk about what you have shown me is all gibberish. I have an idea of my future and they don't agree and now I'm being shunned and ridiculed. What is this? I am begging you to make your presence known in this situation. That your will be done. I realize that I can't make sense of this and I will not dumb anything down. I pray you will be glorified. I surrender my heart, my mind, my future and my family to you understanding that the power to change hearts and move mountains lies in your hands and not my own. I rely wholly on you. You are sovereign. You are active. I know that through this I will come to know you more and I thank you for that. Mark 5:28-29, 2 Samuel 13:12-13, James 1:2-4.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”





Our disagreement escalated. I found myself frustrated with my family, my own actions, and all of the confusion. Still I was preparing to leave for Alabama on the 18th. Our focus almost immediately shifted to getting my younger brother to college and me to Alabama, just as we planned.



I was packed and on my way to Alabama August 18th 2010...to be continued...