“And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace." Acts 20: 22-24

This morning I read this chapter and was immediately comforted by this scripture. In this new stage/chapter/season (whatever you want to call it) I have had so many emotions. In some moments, I feel anxious about what's happening and what's going to happen. The infamous questions of "so what are you going to do now?" (yes I'm still getting that one) or "what's next?" and my attempts to explain my "plans" all tend to weigh heavy on me. I'm here and there with my ideas all the while thinking...ugh I don't know and I'm OK with that. At night I think about all the things that seem to be so important. Things I think I need to take care of or consider...securing a full time job, paying back these loans, car? apartment? *shrug* Its so much... I was asked today in one of my attempts to explain the position I'm in, "what are you passionate about?" Can I tell you? I thought. Will really you understand that the cares of this world me nothing to me in comparison to knowing God and living/serving/dying for Him? You want to know what I want to do? I want to Glorify God with my whole life. I desire to see people come to know Him. I want to help build up the kingdom. I want to "finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me." Even if it means me not having what I think I need. To many people it may sound crazy but this is the one accomplishment I know that I will find true satisfaction in. It is where I want to place my energy, it's my true motivation. God I trust you. I'm just ready to get busy for you and with you.

"One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple." Psalm 27:4

This is the Post Graduate Series. I have decided to try something new for a while. It is now November and we are about to celebrate Thanksgiving. I graduated six months ago and so much has happened. I have so much to be grateful for. I have seen God working and moving in my life and in the lives of my family members and friends. There is so much I want to share. I want to update you and keep you updated. I will share some journal entries and the lessons I have learned. *disclaimer: there are pieces of this story I have chosen not to reveal, at least not yet* I will still post some of my random thoughts and conversations but this series will be one that continues throughout. Think of it as me documenting this stage of my life. That's how I see it.




So I'll start in August...



I came home (Richmond) August 15 2010 from another GREAT summer at Summer's Best Two Weeks CitiKidz. In that month (July 8- Aug 15) God definitely pruned me and taught me so much about his love, patience, and trusting Him. I was able to learn at camp and in the days immediately following what it meant to allow God to Satisfy Himself at my expense. Before and off and on during camp I arranged with my mom and dad a trip to visit my aunt and her family in Huntsville, Alabama. There, I would spend time with them, job search a bit, and maybe do some networking.



8-12-2010 Journal Entry

Well its Thursday of the last week of camp. What have I learned? I guess I realized that I'm soaking in more than I thought. Before camp I felt dry and complacent. However, after seeing how God has used me I realize that He's been working all along. In speaking about Him, connections are made that I never knew were there before. Ministering to these girls has shed light on both my weaknesses and my strengths. There were great weeks and then there were times were I encountered great resistance. In different ways the girls acted out and God revealed to me how similar our behavior can often be towards Him. That realization definitely opened my eyes and allowed me to gain a better understanding of the level of compassion and grace God has and gives to us daily.

My assertiveness (something I once viewed as a negative aspect) has become somewhat of a tool in this walk and during this experience more than I thought. God identified for me ways to use it; the appropriate time and the intensity. I was able to speak to the young girls in love and encouragement but also firmly when necessary. I can now see its value growing in me. I also learned the importance of waiting and loving God->not wishing my time away but lingering in it with Him; eager to hear and understand what I need to learn. I have no idea what to expect when I get back home but I know I'm ready for your will to be done in my life. It's the same enemy at home and the same God that has been here with me these five weeks. I’m taking the discipline, zeal, accountability and purpose home too.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

The same warfare...Continue to pray that He moves and it's not by my own strength but His.



The day after my arrival home there was a disagreement with my parents regarding my future...my life plans both immediate and future



8-15-10

Had a feeling it would be this way. I was asking myself how will I explain what I've learned to them and what I expect. God, I hate it here so much sometimes. I am trying, God, to be patient but I have no idea what's going on. She says that what I am saying when I'm trying to talk about what you have shown me is all gibberish. I have an idea of my future and they don't agree and now I'm being shunned and ridiculed. What is this? I am begging you to make your presence known in this situation. That your will be done. I realize that I can't make sense of this and I will not dumb anything down. I pray you will be glorified. I surrender my heart, my mind, my future and my family to you understanding that the power to change hearts and move mountains lies in your hands and not my own. I rely wholly on you. You are sovereign. You are active. I know that through this I will come to know you more and I thank you for that. Mark 5:28-29, 2 Samuel 13:12-13, James 1:2-4.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”





Our disagreement escalated. I found myself frustrated with my family, my own actions, and all of the confusion. Still I was preparing to leave for Alabama on the 18th. Our focus almost immediately shifted to getting my younger brother to college and me to Alabama, just as we planned.



I was packed and on my way to Alabama August 18th 2010...to be continued...