Huntsville, Alabama was amazing. In the car with my Aunt and Uncle I got to think, pray, and reflect on all that happened. I was excited to have the opportunity to get away to a new setting and for all the experiences I know I was being prepared to have. Once I was there, my excitement only increased.




Huntsville is such a flat city. Not a lot of tall buildings or trees. I didn't mind because from the car I was able to see the beauty of the sky. So much beauty. In most of the car rides my eyes searched the clouds during the day and admired the stars at night.









8-20-2010



Here, finally. I've had so much to think about and reflect on. A great deal has happened and I was asked "was it worth it?" God I want to say yes. For the opportunity to come to know you on a deeper, more intimate level it was absolutely worth it. It got to a point where I was on the verge of breaking in frustration because it felt like you weren't there. Looking back, I recall the question you asked me while I was still at camp. I was praying “God take me deeper, I want more of you,” then you asked me are you sure? Asking for more of you means that you could take me to levels I've never imagined and reveal so much to me and about me that I’ve never known. Are you really ready? I guess all of what happened was the challenge to see where my faith lies. Have I surrendered it all to you or am I still trying to do it all myself? I can say I am ready and I thank you for the lessons you have coming. I'm excited knowing that you are sovereign and I'm resting in your unexplainable peace. God I love you and I want so much more. I can feel you here with me and I'm ready to see your will be done. Each step I know you laid out and I pray that you keep my way right that I don't fall and my ankles do not turn.
~~

Immediately my days were busy. I was job searching, seeing the city, and getting to know my extended relatives. My cousins are much older than me and we never really had much conversation but in my time there I got to sit and really talk life with both of them, along with my aunt and uncle. The end of August through to September was full of lessons of apartment shopping, budgeting money, and career building. I met with people about my career choices, celebrated my 22nd birthday, salsa danced, saw the cotton fields, and went to an Alabama A&M football game. I enjoyed late night talks, movies and lots of laughter :O)



9-2-2010



Yesterday was my birthday! I am now 22 years old and I have so much to be grateful for. Being here in Alabama I am learning so much. You are setting things in motion and making your will clear day by day. God I trust you and I love you so much! I'm excited because of the favor you have shown. I was able to have an awesome meeting with a woman in the PR field. She dropped some knowledge lol and even some contacts. Thanks for setting that up! Also my cousin was kind enough to set up another meeting concerning my career with another woman in the field. You are awesome! I trust you no matter where these doors lead and I know you have my best interest in mind.


~~


In Huntsville I also had a lot of down time. In that time I prayed. I prayed for my family and for my future. I was excited about what was happening. My new excitement was soon met with the return of some old and enervating feelings that were all too familiar...to be continued...

“And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace." Acts 20: 22-24

This morning I read this chapter and was immediately comforted by this scripture. In this new stage/chapter/season (whatever you want to call it) I have had so many emotions. In some moments, I feel anxious about what's happening and what's going to happen. The infamous questions of "so what are you going to do now?" (yes I'm still getting that one) or "what's next?" and my attempts to explain my "plans" all tend to weigh heavy on me. I'm here and there with my ideas all the while thinking...ugh I don't know and I'm OK with that. At night I think about all the things that seem to be so important. Things I think I need to take care of or consider...securing a full time job, paying back these loans, car? apartment? *shrug* Its so much... I was asked today in one of my attempts to explain the position I'm in, "what are you passionate about?" Can I tell you? I thought. Will really you understand that the cares of this world me nothing to me in comparison to knowing God and living/serving/dying for Him? You want to know what I want to do? I want to Glorify God with my whole life. I desire to see people come to know Him. I want to help build up the kingdom. I want to "finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me." Even if it means me not having what I think I need. To many people it may sound crazy but this is the one accomplishment I know that I will find true satisfaction in. It is where I want to place my energy, it's my true motivation. God I trust you. I'm just ready to get busy for you and with you.

"One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple." Psalm 27:4

This is the Post Graduate Series. I have decided to try something new for a while. It is now November and we are about to celebrate Thanksgiving. I graduated six months ago and so much has happened. I have so much to be grateful for. I have seen God working and moving in my life and in the lives of my family members and friends. There is so much I want to share. I want to update you and keep you updated. I will share some journal entries and the lessons I have learned. *disclaimer: there are pieces of this story I have chosen not to reveal, at least not yet* I will still post some of my random thoughts and conversations but this series will be one that continues throughout. Think of it as me documenting this stage of my life. That's how I see it.




So I'll start in August...



I came home (Richmond) August 15 2010 from another GREAT summer at Summer's Best Two Weeks CitiKidz. In that month (July 8- Aug 15) God definitely pruned me and taught me so much about his love, patience, and trusting Him. I was able to learn at camp and in the days immediately following what it meant to allow God to Satisfy Himself at my expense. Before and off and on during camp I arranged with my mom and dad a trip to visit my aunt and her family in Huntsville, Alabama. There, I would spend time with them, job search a bit, and maybe do some networking.



8-12-2010 Journal Entry

Well its Thursday of the last week of camp. What have I learned? I guess I realized that I'm soaking in more than I thought. Before camp I felt dry and complacent. However, after seeing how God has used me I realize that He's been working all along. In speaking about Him, connections are made that I never knew were there before. Ministering to these girls has shed light on both my weaknesses and my strengths. There were great weeks and then there were times were I encountered great resistance. In different ways the girls acted out and God revealed to me how similar our behavior can often be towards Him. That realization definitely opened my eyes and allowed me to gain a better understanding of the level of compassion and grace God has and gives to us daily.

My assertiveness (something I once viewed as a negative aspect) has become somewhat of a tool in this walk and during this experience more than I thought. God identified for me ways to use it; the appropriate time and the intensity. I was able to speak to the young girls in love and encouragement but also firmly when necessary. I can now see its value growing in me. I also learned the importance of waiting and loving God->not wishing my time away but lingering in it with Him; eager to hear and understand what I need to learn. I have no idea what to expect when I get back home but I know I'm ready for your will to be done in my life. It's the same enemy at home and the same God that has been here with me these five weeks. I’m taking the discipline, zeal, accountability and purpose home too.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

The same warfare...Continue to pray that He moves and it's not by my own strength but His.



The day after my arrival home there was a disagreement with my parents regarding my future...my life plans both immediate and future



8-15-10

Had a feeling it would be this way. I was asking myself how will I explain what I've learned to them and what I expect. God, I hate it here so much sometimes. I am trying, God, to be patient but I have no idea what's going on. She says that what I am saying when I'm trying to talk about what you have shown me is all gibberish. I have an idea of my future and they don't agree and now I'm being shunned and ridiculed. What is this? I am begging you to make your presence known in this situation. That your will be done. I realize that I can't make sense of this and I will not dumb anything down. I pray you will be glorified. I surrender my heart, my mind, my future and my family to you understanding that the power to change hearts and move mountains lies in your hands and not my own. I rely wholly on you. You are sovereign. You are active. I know that through this I will come to know you more and I thank you for that. Mark 5:28-29, 2 Samuel 13:12-13, James 1:2-4.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”





Our disagreement escalated. I found myself frustrated with my family, my own actions, and all of the confusion. Still I was preparing to leave for Alabama on the 18th. Our focus almost immediately shifted to getting my younger brother to college and me to Alabama, just as we planned.



I was packed and on my way to Alabama August 18th 2010...to be continued...

Joshua Harris describes in his book Boy Meets Girl the dynamic of relationships/courtship and allowing God to guide you with his wisdon (instead of our feelings alone) by using the analogy of a kite and a string.

 He writes, “The relationship between wisdom and romance is like the one between a string and a kite. Romantic love is the kite that catches the wind and tenaciously heads to the sky; wisdom is the string that holds it back. The tension is real, but healthy. Without the string, the kite would quickly come crashing to the ground. In the same way, romance without wisdom will soon take a nosedive… Like a string on a kite, wisdom enables romance to really soar. It anchors it, disciplines it, and brings it to its highest potential.”

Passion based in ignorance or haste can invite disaster (Prov. 19:2)

Don't let your feelings say "I want this right now!" and forget about patience or seeking the reality and wisdom provided by God's incorruptable word. Our feelings should be based on the information we have recieved from God, controlled, and shared in line with what he desires and what will ultimately glorify him.

Just thought this was a cool analogy and wanted to share

In His Love,
Miss Amanda ♥

Some say: "Oh...well, God knows my heart"

Yes He sure does ->“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings." Jeremiah 17:9-10

"But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:1-13

NOW HERE'S THE PROMISE ->"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them. Then you shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers; you shall be My people, and I will be your God. I will deliver you from all your uncleannesses...." Ezekiel 36:26-28

How can you keep a heart that's clean ->"How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." Psalm 119:9-11

Just some thoughts...
 
♥ Miss Manda

So I was riding in the car with my Aunt and on the radio, popular singer, Monica's song began to play. The song is called Love All Over Me and after listening closely I noticed that this song was a lot deeper than most would perceive it to be. She sings passionately about a love interest. Her words speak of a transformation in her as a result of this new found love. Listening intently I began to analyze. I thought "wow this is almost idolatry of some dude" and " seriously? he touched your heart and now it beats?..wait a minute." As I listened scripture was brought to my remembrance and I began to look at this song as one of worship to God. Its so interesting that a lot of these secular artists express the love that they long for. One that's deep, true and unconditional. One that can only come from the Father. Its as if we know who we need and long for but we place our affections on people and things of this world. If you only knew how much God loves us and how intimate he wants to be with each of us. Nothing compares.

Here are some lyrics (I inserted some scriptures references that correlate)

Before your love baby I was lonely
 filled deep with pain til you took it from me
 you showered me with a new beginning now I'm clean, (2 Corinthians 5:17, Ezekiel 36:36)
Took me by surprise when you ran up on me,
 I came to life baby (Father lol) in that moment (Ephesians 2:4-5)
you put your hands on my heart and baby now it beats (Ezekiel 36:26)

Hook:
I got love all over me,
baby you touch every part of me
(Ooh) I got love all over me and I don't wanna get it off
I'm completely covered up in your love (Psalm 36:7)


God your are so awesome. Thank you for your amazing and unfailing love!!!